January 6, 2003 The following musing is a response to a person seeking advice regarding a friend in the music business who wants to transition: Dear xxx, You've asked a truly difficult question. I'm not a trans-counselor, all I can offer is what I've learned from experience. I'm still adjusting to the ramifications of my transition, as are the people who I consider my friends. My coworkers, family, everyone who knew me before are all dealing with it in their own way. The important thing to me is how I deal with myself. Do I live in fear with how people perceive me? Sometimes I do. Do I let fear stop me from doing what I do best? Absolutely not!! The only thing I can control in the music business is the level of my playing. I practice constantly. I make myself play as if every performance or practice session is the last time I'll ever play my bass. I strive to improve every time I play. Music and the arts are not always fair to those who would like to make a living from them. Contacts are something you come by from your reputation as a player and a businessperson. My career came about because of a series of happy accidents. The important thing was that I had my level of playing to a point where I was ready when the calls came. For some people the calls never come through no fault of their own. You can't tie up your ego in the ups and downs of the music business. So far I'm still getting calls but it may stop at any time. That's the chance you take by becoming an artist. My being a transsexual cannot enter my mindset at any time. I never thought about gender when I played before, why should I start now? I'm a bassist and that is that. I'm hired not for my appearance but because I'm good at what I do.. That being said, I only transitioned within the last few years. I already had a decent career going before. I'm not sure what my career would have been like had I transitioned before I had the "goods" as a player. I can only say this: If you're going to transition make sure that the transition is not the only thing in your life. You must be a functioning human being first. No matter whether your job is a calling or not you must perform it with all the skill and consciousness that can be brought to bear. Be a likable person. Even though we have an extraordinary "problem" in most people's eyes, if you dwell on it no one will want to be around you. Laugh at yourself, a smile is the most disarming device. It's such an absurd world. Take care, Jennifer Leitham