Jennifer’s Bloggallery

Musical Associates
A work in progress

(Jammed with or played at least one gig together. Many of these people and I have shared the bandstand frequently.)
This list is from the top of my head, I’m certain there will be glaring omissions. Please let me know about them, I need to remember!
Please read “Phantom Resumes” for a more detailed explanation!

Al Aarons, Greg Abate, Ron Affif, Kei Akagi, Randy Alcroft, Louis Aldebert, Monique Aldebert, Howard Alden, Corey Allen, Harry Allen, Lorez Alexandria, Bill Allred, John Allred, Karyn Allyson, Justo Almario, Frank Almond, Carol Anderson, Ernie Andrews, Troy Andrews, Ray Anthony, Ron Anthony, Peter Appleyard, David Arana, Alisha Ard, David Arnay, Jack Arnold, Joe Ascione, Brian Atkinson, Atlanta Symphony, Frankie Avalon, Burt Bacharach, Joe Bagg, Colin Bailey, John Bainbridge, Lucille Ball, Butch Ballard, Rick Baptiste, Bootsy Barnes, Jennifer Barnes, Steve Barnes, Dan Barrett, Keith Barry, Vince Bartels, Dee Barton, Ron Barrows, Richie Barz, Guido Basso, Billy Bean, Karen Benjamin, Gil Bernal, Ed Bickert, Don Beamsley, Louis Bellson, John Bellows, Les Benedict, Tex Beneke, Dina Bennett, Tony Bennett, David Benoit, Shelly Berg, Wayne Bergeron, Ginger Berglund, Dick Berk, Ron Berman, Jim Bernard, Scotty Bernhardt, Bill Berry, Keter Betts, Ed Bickert, Gregg Bisonette, Michael Bluestein, George Bohanon, Jim Boltinghouse, Jimmy Boneque, Toula Bonie, Boston Pops, Keni Bothwell, Bob Bowman, Jim Boyer, Carmen Bradford, Oscar Braeshear, Charlie Braughm, Jim Brent, Mike Brignola, Nick Brignola, Ray Brinker, Gordon Brisker, Alan Broadbent, Bob Brookmeyer, Mel Brooks, Ray Brown, Jane Brucker, Elijah Brueggerman, Wendell Brunious, Jimmy Bruno, Monty Budwig, John Bunch, Carl Burnett, Charlie Byrd, Susan Cahill, Uri Caine, Lee Callett, John Campbell, Michel Camillo, Conte Candoli, Pete Candoli, Randy Cannon, Frank Capp, Dave Carpenter, Vicki Carr, Benny Carter, Joe Cartwright, Alexandra Caselli, Sharel Cassity, Matt Catingub, Nick Ceroli, Carol Chaikin, Alan Chapman, Charlie Chiarenza, Buddy Childers, John Chiodini, Pete Christlieb, Cinncinnatti Pops, Cinncinnatti Sinfonetta, Lou Ciotti, Dini Clarke, Jeff Clayton, John Clayton, Rosemary Clooney, Jack Coan, Anat Cohen, Bob Cohen, Pat Coil, John Colianni, Ritchie Cole, Vinnie Coliuta, Jeff Collela, Buddy Collette, Colorado Symphony, Frank Collett, Cecelia Coleman, Luis Conte, Bill Conti, Bob Cooper, Larry Coryell, Robert Cowart, Jim Cox, Randy Creighton, Randy Crenshaw, Joe Croyle, Henry Cuesta, The Cunninghams, Bill Cunliffe, Dallas Symphony, John D’amico, Vic Damone, Jonathan Dane, Dee Daniels, John Dankworth, Tanya Darby, James Darrin, Jami Dauber, Kenny Davern, Donald Dean, Frank DeBusolo, Buddy DeFranco, Dennis Denick, Joe Denick, John Denick, Kenny Dennis, John Denver, Larry Derfler, Detroit Symphony, Kevin Diehl, Dennis DiBlasio, John diMartino, Larry DiTomasso, Peter Donald, Eric Doney, Joe Donofrio, Bob Dorough, Randy Drake, Kenny Drew Jr, Rich Eames, Harry “Sweets” Edison, Teddy Edwards, Bob Efford, Taylor Eigsti, Herb Ellis, Bob Enovoldsen, Peter Erskine, Ron Eschte, Gene Estes, Donald Fagen, Mike Fahn, Vinnie Falcone, Carmen Fanzone, Alan Farnham, John Fedchock, Victor Feldman, Allyn Ferguson, Sherman Ferguson, Keith Fiddmont, Greg Field, Anton Fig, Barnaby Finch, Jamie Findlay, Chuck Findley, Ted Firth, Ella Fitzgerald, Rod Fleeman, Bob Florence, Florida Orchestra, Med Flory, Megan Foley, Carl Fontana, Bruce Forman, Mitchel Forman, Fort Worth Symphony, Gary Foster, Calabria Foti, Jim Fox, Sergio Franchi, Jill Frasier, Ian Freebairn-Smith, Johnny Frigo, Dave Frishberg, Gary Fukishima, Larry Fuller, George Gaffney, Davis Gaines, Hal Galper, Roberta Gambarini, Diana Gannett, Russ Garcia, Dave Garfield, Tom Garvin, Giacamo Gates, Grant Geisman, Herb Geller, Jane Getz, Gerry Gibbs, Terry Gibbs, Steve Giordano, Daniel Goldberg, Juliana Gondek, Bill Goodwin, Wycliffe Gordon, George Grahm, Joanne Grauer, Bill Green, Eddie Green, Johnny Green, Thurman Green, Tony Green, Urbie Green, Julie Greenberg, Seth Greenberg, Al Grey, Merv Griffin, Sol Gubin, John Guerin, Dick Hafer, Ed Hagopian, Corky Hale, Jennifer Hall, Jeff Hamilton, Karen Hammack, John Hammond, Herbie Hancock, Tamir Handelman, Jake Hanna, Biff Hannon, Bob Hardaway, Marty Harris, John Wesley Harding, Roy Hargrove, Steven Harlos, Herbie Harper, Leslie Havens, Ted Hawke, Dick Haymes, Jimmy Heath, Tootie Heath, Chuck Hedges, Neil Hefti, Skitch Henderson, Jon Hendricks, Brandy Herbert, Gary Herbig, Woody Herman, Jim Hershman, Dan Higgins, Eddie Higgins, Mike Higgins, Rusty Higgins, Art Hillary, Maurice Hines, Milt Hinton, Wendall Hobbs, Bill Hollman, Red Holloway, Tim Horner, Houston Symphony, Freddie Hubbard, Steve Huffsteter, Paul Humphrey, Ralph Humphries, Dick Hyman, Roger Ingram, Jacksonville Symphony, Christian Jacob, Albie Jacobsen, Sid Jacobs, Chubby Jackson, Duffy Jackson, Sweet Baby J’ai, Woody James, Clay Jenkins, Henry Johnson, Plas Johnson, Pete Jolly, Billy Jones, Hank Jones, Harold Jones, Jack Jones, Philly Joe Jones, Thelma Jones, Kleber Jorge, Ron Kalina, Alan Kaplan, Bert Karl, Tateng Katendig, Kendall Kay, Roger Kellaway, Julie Kelly, Pat Kelly, Jackie Kelso, Robert Kenmatsu, Billy Kerr, Anne King, Tony Kissane, Eartha Kitt, Jimmy Knepper, Knoxville Symphony, Nelson Kole, Russ Konikoff, Larry Koonse, Al Kooper, Diana Krall, Mark Kramer, Paul Kreibich, Bob Krogstad, Jen Krupa, Steve Kujala, Jon Kurnick, Bob Kurnow, Joe LaBarbera, Terry Landry, Cleo Laine, k.d. lang, Mike Lang, Andy Langham, Jeff Lass, Thom Lawton, Bob Leatherbarrow, Jack LeCompte, Peggy Lee, Richard Leech, Milcho Leviev, Jay Leonhart, Joel Levine, Dan Levinson, Lou Levy, Bobby Lewis, Mark Lewis, Vic Lewis, Jeff Linsky, Keith Lockhart, Dave Loeb, Perry Lopez, Los Angeles Philharmonic, Sinclair Lott, Louahn Lowe, Mundell Lowe, Warren Luening, Gloria Lynne, Dennis Mackrel, Gildo Mahones, Lew Malan, Junior Mance, Henry Mancini, Monica Mancini, Johnny Mandel, Larance Marable, Andy Margolis, Sherry Maricle, Lou Marini, Pino Marone, Arno Marsh, Skeets Marsh, Warne Marsh, Ward Marston, Andy Martin, Mel Martin, Maria Martinez, Nick Martinez, Pat Martino, Mark Massey, Mark Masters, Joe Matt, Llew Matthews, Peter Matz, Lincoln Mayorga, Bill Mays, Bob McChesney, Jill McCarron, Rob McConnell, Marilyn McCoo, Susanah McCorkle, Roy McCurdy, Doug McDonald, KT McGinn, Maureen McGovern, Dave McKenna, Larry McKenna, Barbara McNair, Mike Melvoin, Don Menza, Helen Merrill, George Mesterhazy, The McGuire Sisters, Butch Miles, Bob Milikan, Allison Miller, Cassie Miller, Jim Miller, Mark Miller, Mulgrew Miller, Milwaukee Symphony, Liza Minelli, Minnesota Orchestra, Billy Mitchell, Brian Mitchell, Dick Mitchell, Red Mitchell, Mitchito, Hank Mobley, Jane Monheit, Nicolas Montier, James Moody, Carol Morgan, Dick Morgan, Frank Morgan, Lanny Morgan, Airto Moriera, Glenn Morrissette, Suzanne Morrissette, Angela Morley, Barbara Morrison, Frank Morroco, Dave Moscoe, Abe Most, Sam Most, Carl Mottola, Don Moyer, Linda Moyer, Bob Mulligan, Gerry Mulligan, Lee Musiker, Naples Philharmonic, Dick Nash, Lewis Nash, Nashville Symphony, National Symphony, Josh Nelson, Ira Nepus, Roger Neuman, Oscar Castro-Neves, Chris Neville, David “Fathead” Newman, Nancy Newman, Tommy Newsome, New World Symphony, New York Pops, New York Voices, Jack Nimitz, Joe Nocella, Ron Nocella, Nadje Noordhuis, Larry Novack, Fransisco Noya, Oasis, Anita O’Day, John Oddo, Bob O’Donnell, Brian O’Flahrety, Betty O’Hara, Tomoko Ohno, Mel Olman, Pete Olstad, Brian O’Rourke, Donnie Osborne, Marshall Otwell, Jelsa Paleo, Andy Paley, Earl Palmer, Enrique Pantojia, Rebecca Parris, Lisa Parrott, Joe Pass, Judd Pastor, Alan Pasqua, Ann Patterson, Mike Patterson, Bruce Paulsen, Mike Pedicin, Bernard Peiffer, Steve Pemberton, Ralph Penland, Ken Peplowski, Oscar Perez, Bill Perkins, John Perrett, Houston Person, Tom Peterson, Flip Phillips, Russ Phillips, Philly Pops, Phoenix Symphony, Leigh Pilzer, Gerry Pinter, John Pisano, Trudy Pitts, Pittsburgh Symphony, Bucky Pizzarelli, Ray Pizzi, Sam Pizzuto, Sy Platt, Ed Polcer, Portland Symhony, Dave Posmontier, Frank Potenza, Gerald Price, Mike Price, Ruth Price, John Proulx, George Rabbai, Brad Rabuchin, Don Rader, Lynn Randall, Sue Raney, John Rangel, Tom Ranier, Kenny Rankin, Dave Rataczech, Steve Rawlins, Chuck Redd, Helen Reddy, Rudy Regolado.Bill Reichenbach, Peter Reichlin, Janelle Reichman, Estelle Reiner, Bob Remstein, Mike Renzi, Alvino Rey, Bob Ricardi, Charlie Richard, Kim Richmond, Richmond Symphony, Herlin Riley, Herman Riley, Tony Rizzi, Lynn Roberts, Spike Robinson, Red Rodney, Roy Rogers, Shorty Rogers, Mickey Roker, Bob Romanelli, David Rose, Bobby Rosengarden, Ted Rosenthal, Annie Ross, Billy Ross, Joe Rotella, Jimmy Rowles, Stacey Rowles, Marshall Royal, Cathy Rubico, Carlos Rubio, Steve Rudolph, Pete Rugolo, Otmaro Ruiz, Randy Russell, Dave Ryan, Wendy Ryan, Skip Ryder, Soupy Sales, Machito Sanchez, Randy Sandke, Arturo Sandoval, San Fransisco Symphony Orchestra, Randy Sarles, Carl Saunders, Tommy Saunders, Santo Savino, Brian Scanlon, Gaea Schell, Lalo Schifrin, Tony Scodwell, Shirley Scott, Joe Scuza, Lou Scuza, Seattle Symphony, Aron Sefarty, Denny Seiwell, Jim Self, John Setar, Frank Severino, Doc Severinsen, Dick Shanahan, Bud Shank, Ed Shaughnessy, Dick Shawn, George Shearing, Jack Sheldon, Don Shelton, Bob Sheppard, Daryl Sherman, Bobby Shew, Charlie Shoemake, Dick Shreve, Diane Shur, Wendy Simon, Frank Sinatra Jr., Riner Skivaly, Josh Sklair, Dave Slonaker, Glenda Smith, Mike Smith, Paul Smith, Joe Soldo, Jeri Southern, Todd Spaits, Eric Speigel, Dick Spencer, Jack Sperling, Michael Spiro, Spokane Symphony, Dave Stahl, Kenny Stahl, Marvin Stamn, Al Stauffer, Maury Stein, Alan Steinberger, Slam Stewart, Gary Stockdale, Pam Stonebrook, Rob Stonebrooke, Ron Stoudt, John Stowell, Frank Strazzeri, Billy Stritch, Ira Sullivan, Andy Summers, Bob Summers, Supersax, Tierny Sutton, Frank Szabo, Lew Tabackin, Ernie Tack, Take 6, Tom Talbert, Keith Talley, Akira Tana, Grady Tate, Tommy Tedesco, Nino Tempo, Clark Terry, Ed Thigpen, Anita Thomas, Lee Thornburg, Frank Tiberi, Michael Tilson-Thomas, Bill Tole, Gary Tole, Ross Tompkins, Mel Torme’, Don Trenner, Sonny Trois, Vince Trombetta, Bobby Troup, Dave Tull, Steve Turre, Alan Vache, Warren Vache, Dana Valeri, George Van Eps, Carlos Vega, Dianne Varga, Johnny Varo, Sarah Vaughn, Father Tom Vaughn, Mike Vax, Marlene Verplank, Frank Vignola, Al Viola, Joe Vito, Vicki Von Epps, Chad Wackerman, John Wackerman, Deb Wagner, Thilo Wagner, Scott Wagstaff, Willie Wallenhaupt, Joe Walsh, Tom Walsh, Kenny Washington, Peter Washington, Daryl Waters, Bill Watrous, Ernie Watts, Doug Webb, Deborah Weisz, Jerry Weldon, Dick Weller, Kenny Werner, John Wesley-Harding, Judy Wexler, Jiggs Whiggam, Gerald Wiggins, Frank White, Jerry White, Mike Whited, Scott Whitfield, Bob Wilber, Spiegle Wilcox, Jackie Williams, Pat Williams, Roger Williams, Tony Williams, Jim Wilmer, Anthony Wilson, Frank Wilson, Gerald Wilson, Kevin Winnard, Pinky Winters, Fritz Wise, Mike Wofford, Joe Wolverton, Rickey Woodard, Phil Woods, Chihiro Yamanaka, Dave Young, Red Young, Snooky Young, Johnny Zell, Jimmy Zito, Glen Zottola, Barry Zweig

There is a behavior amongst musicians that can be very annoying.
I have encountered it on many occasions and we’re all guilty of it to some degree. With some it’s almost an obsession.
Self promotion is absolutely essential in every musician’s career but there is a point where it crosses the line of truth and decency.
I don’t know whether it stems from insecurity, self validation, or both. Some people have a brain that’s stuck on self promotion to the degree that self promotion invades every conversation.
I don’t mind yarn spinning about road experiences or famous types we’ve played for, it’s just that sometimes I’d rather talk about the weather or our pets or their kids.
The thing that really annoys me is when musicians are constantly bragging about their days with so and so when in reality they only played once or twice with the person. Some musicians build their resumes with the names of people who might have conducted a clinic at their school, or taught at a camp. It is hard to tell fact from reality sometimes.
A few years ago when I was in the hospital I received a well wishing phone call from one of these no-life-but-self-promotion types. I held the earphone about a foot away from my ear as they went on and on about so and so (who they played for one time), as if they had been best friends. The visitor in the room noticed my agitation about the call and I explained the phenomena to her.
She laughed and suggested that I compile a list of every musician I could remember playing with at least once. Since I had little to do but heal, I dusted off my memory as best I could and began jotting. I have been adding to the list from time to time as some of the clouds in my head have dissipated. It’s definitely a work in progress, (as I am too)!
I will post the list in the Musings section under the title of “Musical Associates”.
If you stumble upon this list and have played with me at some point and don’t see your name please E-mail me and clue me in. I assure you that exclusion is not deliberate, and I’d love to hear from you anyway. I’ll post the names as my memory resuscitates.
Jennifer Leitham
March 28, 2007

I had an interesting experience at the hairdresser recently.

If you’ve seen me in person or in photos you know that my hair is always quite long. I have a slight phobia about getting it cut. Sometimes it gets to the tush-rubbing stage before I get up enough nerve to do something about it.

A few days ago I was having a particularly bothersome hair day. My bangs were continuosly slapping my eyes. Out of frustration I bolstered myself with courage and decided to audition a salon that I pass almost every day. It is very close to where I live. The sign in their front window says, “Walk-ins welcome!”

I was hyperventilating as I approached the counter and asked if they could fit me in for a bang trim. The lady behind the counter was the shop owner. She’s Italian,and her English was sketchy at best, (as is my writing). She couldn’t have been nicer, gently put me at ease, motioned me to a chair, and in three minutes I had the best bang trim of my life! I was anxiety free!

I tried to pay her but she wouldn’t accept. Wouldn’t accept a tip either. I was so grateful I decided to book a full blown haircut with her.
My phobia seemed to wane because of her kindness. I was relaxed and ready for my hair to be any length. Maybe I had finally jumped over the hair hurdle!

Yesterday at noon I pulled up to the back entrance of the salon and noticed a couple of black and white police cars blocking the driveway. My new stylist friend was there, told me to find parking on the street, she’d be with me in a minute. I parked a couple of blocks away and when I returned I didn’t see her anywhere.

On closer inspection I found her in the back seat of one of the cop cars in handcuffs! She was being arrested!
She had been involved in a dispute with the shopkeeper next door.
Has anyone out there ever gone to the hairdresser and witnessed their stylist taken away in handcuffs by the police?
Is it just me?
I guess I just wasn’t meant to get my hair cut.

Jennifer Leitham
March 15, 2007

The following Musing is a result of a correspondence with Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls. I have been a fan of Amy and Emily Sailers for a long time, I admire them for their music, honesty, and courage. They have been most informative and compassionate in helping educate people about Transgender issues and I wrote Amy and thanked her. She suggested that I read her interviews in regards to the Michigan Womyn’s Fest, a women-only music festival that excludes transgender people.

Oh Amy,

I hope you don’t mind that I wrote this diatribe, I know this is way long for an E-mail:

I read your interviews in regards to the Michigan Womyn’s Festival.

I must again thank you for your enlightened awareness of transgender issues.

I started writing a brief E-mail about my thoughts on the matter but this torrent of words would not stop flowing. I hope I haven’t worn out my welcome.

I must admit to a certain naiveté’ when it comes to the exclusion/inclusion issues of the festival. I try and stay on top of the legal and political battles being fought in the GLBT movement but I have lived a very cloistered existence since my transition. As before, the vast majority of my time is taken up by my musical endeavors. I have very little social contact. It seems that most of the time when I mix with the population I’m playing my bass.

I must also admit to my incompetence at dealing with the music business. I’ve always survived because I was the hot shot “hired gun”. There have always been stars to attach myself to. I have a knack for playing many styles, but I’ve been pegged as a certain type of player. I enjoy playing all kinds of music, even classical, but my Jazz prowess has always been my fiscal bread and butter.

Although many famous older players and vocalists have utilized my talents, I’ve always been terrible at dealing with promoters and record company people when trying to promote my music.

But experience is an amazing teacher, and I’m starting to come out of my shell.
I have encountered a lot of prejudice and resistance to my transsexual existence, both from my parents and the male-dominated world of Jazz music.

My first instinct has always been to be non-confronting, to let my ability speak for itself. The problem is that there are fewer and fewer opportunities to display my ability.

It saddens me to read of the exclusion of transgendered people at an all-woman festival. I’ve learned from my life that the brain is the thing that determines one’s gender, not the birth genitalia. The studies done on the subject all are pointing to that fact.

I have suffered so much to be where I am today, believe me, I’ve paid my dues. Up to now it would be my nature to shy away from a confrontation, I would hope that my competence would somehow win people’s hearts.

Reading some of your interviewees’ opinions has made me feel that I should stop feeling that way. I noticed the problems at the festival when some African American butches were excluded because of their perceived masculine tendencies. When education was given to the powers-that-be the situation was remedied. These powers-that-be need educating about the realities and the myths surrounding Transgender issues as well.

There is so much pigeonholing of gay and transgender people into conforming gender archetypes, it’s just as confining as the Christian Right binary gender system. You’re either femme or butch, a bear, a chicken, a top, or bottom, a drag queen, a cross dresser, a pre-op, a tranny, etc. It is an archaic way of thinking.

There is no choice for a person who is born transsexual. You either learn to embrace it or die. There was not a waking moment in my life when I didn’t know that I was female, regardless of genitalia. Yes I grew up on the male side of the aisle, but that doesn’t mean I was ever comfortable with it. I loved playing baseball but so do a lot of women.

It’s no fun growing up with a dark secret, I’m sure you know how that feels as much as I do. Playing a role is no way to grow up. I always looked more female than male, especially when I was little, and experienced violence because of it.

If we could evolve our way of child rearing to where kids didn’t feel pressure to become wholly male or female we could avoid so much tragedy.

We need gender wiggle room.

I’ve been consulting with a few young patients of some psychiatrists here in L.A. Even in the professional counseling world there are so many who need education about the causes and the choices available for the gender variant. They send them to me out of compassion, I become the go-between to help them find the right caregivers.

Because of these consultations I’ve been asked to give speeches at conferences of psychiatric counselors, medical practitioners, law enforcers, and lawgivers. I guess it’s my first foray into activism.

One of my speeches was at the Trans-Unity Conference last spring at the Los Angeles GLBT Center. My general subject was one that applies to the dilemma at the Michigan Womyn Festival.

The transgender community, like the rest of the GLBT community, is divided into archetypes. But it’s a very diverse world. We all tend to get lumped together for exclusion purposes.

Are there varying degrees of womaness in the transgender community?

Are you going to paint a transsexual woman who has undergone years of psychiatric evaluation, years of hormone therapy, a life threatening major surgery and has experienced life from the woman’s side of the aisle with the same brush as a male fetishistic transvestite who dresses in an exaggerated feminine style occasionally and masturbates?

Unfortunately there is often no distinction made of all the different people who get lumped under the transgender umbrella. This is not to say that there’s anything wrong with the latter archetype, it’s just that in so many circles, diversity is not permitted.

When I was asked to make an appearance on KPFK radio here in L.A. the chairperson of the Trans-Unity conference insisted on accompanying me on the air. He was dressed as a man, had long sideburns and spoke like Robert Goulet. He asked the host to refer to him as Claudia(a pseudonym). We were trying to make a sympathetic case for the conference to the mostly straight listening audience. In my mind having Claudia speak was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Unfortunately some of the most vocal advocates of the Transgender movement are some of the least successful people at being accepted as women. The most successful transsexual people I know prefer to be stealth, to live as real women and be perceived as such.

I have an interesting dilemma in my life. I am capable of being stealth but only if I walk away from my musical career. As you know, I am a musician with a proud resume’ and music is the thing that’s kept me alive all of my adult life. I have a distinctive playing style and also am quite unusual in that I play the string bass left-handed. It’s impossible to hide where I’ve been. I don’t want to hide anymore.

My solution is to be wide open about myself. Heck, my surgery has been shown on television all over the world! When people ask questions I answer them. I’ve educated a lot of people who would never have been exposed to the subject. I don’t live in paranoia about whether or not I’m “passing”, even though in non-music situations I certainly am.

I digress. Getting back to the issue of the festival. Transgendered people go through a very awkward time when they begin their official female life. They need compassion from others as they learn to relax and accept their new status.

Many people who are in transition from male to female have not taken the time to research just what it means to be a woman in today’s society. They, as I was, are trying to find relief from their condition. It is a very self centered drive, as it has to be in order to get through it. The feeling for me was a very physical discomfort, keeping up a male appearance and persona was very stressful.

If a MtF is as lucky as I have been, to be able to “pass” in everyday life you definitely begin to realize what it means to be a perceived as a woman in today’s society. It’s so different. Much of it is absolutely wonderful, but you begin to notice the second class citizen status given to most women. Your ideas are not listened to, and you find yourself staying in conversations by asking questions instead of answering them. Many little links in a chain that keep you in the shadows.

Some transgendered people never learn to assimilate as women, they expect to be treated as such but really haven’t made the effort to present themselves in a manner that garners acceptance. So fault lies with both sides on this issue. The solution is to find the middle ground where the vast majority of each camp can agree.

I understand that the lumping of all transgendered people into one group makes most uneducated people think of us all as one thing – the worst stereotype. No wonder we get excluded!

My life has been a journey to finally become the woman I’ve always known myself to be. I always felt that women were a superior life form, more evolved, intelligent, open-minded, and tolerant. Judging from the treatment given to the transgendered by the Michigan Womyn’s Fest, maybe I was wrong.

I am excluded from so many groups these days. For a long time I’ve taken the same tact I use for my parents, it’s their loss. But I’m getting tired of staying home and practicing and writing music all the time. I take that back, I really enjoy practicing and writing. But it would be nice to have more opportunities to perform my music!

Sorry if I bent your ear Amy, you’ve probably heard all of these points before. You are one of the bright lights who are working to make things better and I certainly wouldn’t want you to think that I’m ranting at you! I found your interviews to be most enlightening.

Hope I don’t appear too self-indulgent. You are inspiring my budding activism. Keep up the good fight!

With much admiration,

Jennifer Leitham, Feb 9, 2006

Michigan Womyn’s Fest Epilogue

March 12, 2007

It’s been a while since I wrote this Musing. I always put a date on the Musings because they reflect my thinking at the time they were written. This particular Musing was written while in an agitated state. That is not neccessarily a bad thing, sometimes inspiration is born of such conditions.
Judgment is not always the best when one’s thoughts are clouded by emotion.
I feel an apology is in order for my language in this piece. I wrote from a very self-centered perspective when I referred to only male to female transsexuals in my writing. There are countless individuals who journey in the other direction, female to male. I apologize if I’ve offended anyone, it was certainly not my intent.
I wish that there wasn’t a need to constantly explain ourselves, we are all just a part of the natural order of things.
Isn’t it wonderful that in this day and age there are healthful options available for the gender variant? As more and more of us become comfortable and self assured we’ll educate the masses to the fact that we’re just as normal as any other human being. Maybe we’ll prove to be even more exceptional!
Someday there won’t be discussions about the exclusion of anybody from anything.

Jennifer Leitham, March 12, 2007