On a Personal Note → The Latest Gender Diatribe
I think it’s time to post a more up-to-date musing on my constant advice giving, now that I’m so experienced and worldly. YUK!
The following is yet another response to a fellow jazz musician coping with Gender Dysphoria:
Hi XXXX,
I think I’ve written to you before.
I’m always reluctant to dispense advice to people about transitioning. We’re all so different in our stories and histories.
My surgery was very difficult, I never foresaw the complications that I was afflicted with. Complications are rare but they are a reality that can’t be ignored. I was simply unlucky. It was a long road back to health but it’s all been worth it.
You’ve sought counseling, probably the most important step to take in order to find answers that work for you.
Transitioning is not a piece of cake, as you and I have both experienced. We move in a section of the music world that you would think would celebrate diversity and creativity.
Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. It’s a totally male-dominated, traditionally motivated way of life.
I just got to a point that I couldn’t live while I lied to myself, I needed to put my best foot forward. My transition was a very natural one because I move through the world a lot easier being female, I just look the part a lot better than I did while portraying myself as male.
My problems arise because most (but not all), of my musical colleagues won’t let me forget that I’m transsexual.
My coping mechanism has been my sense of humor and a very thick skin. I also practice my brains out! They can never put me down for the way I play.
As to whether or not I can continue to make a living, it’s all a crap shoot, which it is for any jazz musician, regardless of gender.
I just know that I feel so much better these days, my mental and physical health are wonderful. I am a well adjusted, healthy lunatic!
That is not to say that I would recommend transition and surgery for anyone who asks me questions about it. I am not a counselor nor a psychiatrist. There are many considerations that are unique to each case.
Whatever the path you decide on, try to stay positive and don’t blame yourself or anyone else, it’s all so very normal.
Unfortunately the world around us is a few centuries behind in their acceptance of the medical facts.
Hope to see you at the Kitano on June 9th!
Jennifer
May 29, 2005
